The 21 Best Sex & Love Tips From Cool Old Guys Who’ve Seen it All
Sometimes the wisest words come “out of the mouth of babes;” or so the age-old idiom goes. But when it comes to love and sex sometimes it takes a veteran at life, someone who’s been there and done that multiple times over, to lead us to the Promised Land of “happily ever after.” Here we share some sage advice about love and sex from 20 old-timers who definitely ought to know. They didn’t write the book on life and romance, but they’ve lived long enough to fill a few volumes.
The 62-year-old rapper-turned-actor keeps his 18-year marriage to Coco Austin sparking by treating sex like the wild, wild world of sports. “You can be with your wife and just roll over on it. That’s just sex-sex,” the Daily Mail reported.
“Jungle sex is when you know what it is that gets you turned on and you build up to it. You’re taking foreplay a step further. … If you’re willing to accommodate the other one’s kinks, you’re gonna take that sex to another level. So that’s jungle sex.”
He said “I do” to Susan Geston in 1977, and 40 years later, in 2017, Bridges, 70, told the Associated Press, how they negotiate rocky marital terrain. “This is a bump,” he explained. “Now, let’s see if our love can grow to embrace this bump, and the bump can serve to create more intimacy between us.
We can learn more about each other. My wife and I, our primal battle is always going to go back to the same thing. It’s ‘You don’t get it. You don’t understand what it’s like being me being in a relationship with you. You just don’t get it.’ And that’s so true. That’s what we have in common—that we don’t get it. And yet, we’re married. We’re together. We’re committed. We’re in it. Life is so full of paradoxes, isn’t it?”
The former sitcom superstar has been quietly (and presumably happily) married to wife Jessica since 1999, and here’s why. “The best piece of advice I received before I got married was ‘Be careful what you say when you’re in a fight because it could stick in someone’s head,’ Seinfeld, 65, told O, The Oprah Magazine, in 2010.
“I don’t think I’ve ever said anything I really regretted. I’m very sympathetic to women. I’ve really studied wifeology, and I know you’ve got to figure out the feelings. Deal with the feelings.”
He’s one of Hollywood’s most-enduring leading men, but at home with Pauletta, his wife since 1983, the Oscar winner is the best supporting husband. “I do what I’m told,” he told People magazine in 2018. “I keep my mouth shut.”
James Bond likes his cocktails shaken, not stirred, and the 66-year-old actor who played Agent 007 in four films has an even simpler recipe for maintaining his love connection with Keely Shaye Smith, whom he married in 2001.
“My wife and I took a short trip up to Santa Barbara— we were going for a romantic weekend and to look at houses and drink great wine,” he told People in 2017. “We didn’t listen to any music, but we just listened to the sounds of each other’s voices and sorted out the world.”
When the two-time Oscar winner and Rock and Roll Hall of Famer got together with his husband David Furnish in 1993, they started a unique ritual to commemorate the day of the week on which they met. “Every Saturday, without fail, in the last 25 years, we’ve sent each other a card or a fax,”
John, who turns 73 on March 25, told BAZAAR in 2018. Although they tend to accentuate the positive in their weekly missives, they don’t have to. “We sort through [our difficulties] by communication,” John added, “and one way of communicating is writing down on a piece of paper or card how you’re feeling.”
The enduring British screen icon turns 87 on March 14, and his 47-year marriage to Shakira marches on. His secret to prolonged wedded bliss: “Never share a bathroom with a woman— never, because you wind up with a little space just for your razor and your toothbrush,” he told Open magazine in 2017. “Everything else is covered. You’ve got no chance at all.”
Pod Save America podcast host Dan Pfeiffer revealed one of the best pieces of relationship advice he’s ever received in his 2018 book Yes We (Still) Can. It came directly from his ex-boss President Barack Obama. The former White House Director of Communications and Senior Advisor to the President wrote, in Obama’s words:
“Here’s the advice I give everyone about marriage—is she someone you find interesting? You will spend more time with this person than anyone else for the rest of your life, and there is nothing more important than always wanting to hear what she has to say about things.”
He’s been married twice (and since 1988, to Rita Wilson), and Hanks, 63, has figured out the key to together forever: It’s all about timing. “No one,” he told The Epoch Times in 2019, “should get married before they’re 30.”
It must be awfully quiet when Ford, 78, is home with his wife of almost 10 years, Calista Flockhart. Apparently, silence is how he keeps the love alive. “Don’t talk,” he told Parade this year, laying out his secret to marital success. “Nod your head.”
The three-time Oscar nominee, 61, has learned that running sharing too much about your relationship with others can backfire. In 2009, the very year he got together with his current partner Spanish actress Ariadna Gil, a reporter from The Guardian asked him if he had a girlfriend. “Well, even if I did I wouldn’t talk about it,” he said. “If you want to take care of another person, then you don’t go round blabbing about them.
[I] generally that’s what I do. I try to avoid conflict. I don’t want people to be unhappy.” Mortensen did go on to warn that thinking too much about others’ feelings is a trap he tries hard to avoid: “I try to keep too many plates spinning to satisfy everyone’s needs, and if you are not careful you get burnt out and really stressed. You end up saying and doing things that you later regret.”
James Brolin & Barbara Streisand
How do James Brolin, 79, and Barbra Streisand, 77, keep the music playing after nearly 22 years of marriage? For one thing, they don’t mingle their money: “We’ve bifurcated, and I love it that way,” he told HuffPost Live. “I have my own money, and she has her own money.” No more fights over credit card charges? Sounds good to us.
Widowed after the death of his wife of 15 years, Natasha Richardson, in 2009, Neeson, 67, maintains a straightforward love philosophy. “My best relationship advice is if you’ve got anything on your chest, get it off it,” he told Esquire in 2018. “Don’t bottle stuff up.
That would be my advice for any relationship: family or marriage. Don’t bottle stuff like that because it becomes a cancer. It becomes like acid and it’s best to get it out. It’s healthier that way.”
Here’s how the 70-year-old Knives Out actor says he keeps things harmonious with his exes and the mothers of his five children (including Melanie Griffith, whom he married and divorced twice). “Ultimately, [you] will come to know that forgiveness is the key to happiness,” he told USA Today in 2014.
The former L.A. Law star, 68, has been married since 1997 to The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills’s Lisa Rinna, and in 2019, he told The Daily Beast why this marriage works better than his two previous ones. “We listen to each other. Really listen to each other.
The thing about listening is that it’s not something that comes innately to human beings. Normally we have a tape playing in our heads all the time. It can be hard to allow what other people are saying actually in. That’s what Lisa and I do—we listen.”
We’re not sure what makes 61-year-old Baldwin, whose nine-year marriage to Kim Basinger ended in 2002 and who married current wife Hilaria Thomas in 2012, an expert on love. But in 2014, there he was dispensing some pretty good romantic advice in a taxi on his Comedy Central web series Alec Baldwin’s Love Ride.
A sample of his wisdom: “I once had a famous woman and a famous husband. The guy’s one of the biggest stars in the world, and I said to her, if you look him right in the eye and say ‘I love you more than anything’ every day, he will do whatever you ask him. He will be your slave for the rest of your life.”
He’s spent a lifetime loving beautiful blondes, and he married three of them, most recently Penny Lancaster, his wife since 2007. So the 75-year-old has had plenty of time to figure out how to make love stay—and it doesn’t involve asking “Da ya think I’m sexy?” “First of all, don’t have your arguments when you’ve got a glass of wine and you’re about to go to bed,” he told Rolling Stone in 2018.
“Wait until the morning. I’m also a much better listener now than I’ve ever been before. I let my wife, more or less, have her own way. You should always talk about things, be able to listen and still share romantic things. I’m a terrible old romantic. My wife and I, when the kids go to bed, we have candlelit dinners every night. It’s so lovely.”
Another Melanie Griffith ex, the recent first-time Oscar nominee, 59, likes to lead with humor. His first rule of attraction? “If you want to seduce a woman, if you can make her laugh, if you succeed with that, then you’re 50 per cent of the way there,” he told news.com.au in 2013. “You’ll have to be very good in the other 50 percent of course, but if you can make a woman laugh I think that is really important.”
During a 2018 visit to comedian Steve Harvey’s eponymous talk show Steve, the famous Loveline radio show alum Dr. Drew gave some sage advice to a young couple trying to relight the fire after becoming first-time parents. “You have to prioritize,” he told the sexually frustrated new dad. “I get it. I get it. The desire for daily sex, you’re going to have that for her when you’re 75. That’s fantastic. But right now, give her a chance to be a mom, and you be a dad. That’s all I’m saying. Just relax for a minute.”
Blind father-of-nine Wonder, who married his third wife, Tomeeka Bracy, in 2017, has 20/20 vision when it comes to love and sex. “Relationships bring about experience—thought, emotions, expressions,” the 69-year-old legend told GQ in 2015. “All of those things create music.
We love love. I love love. I make love. I’m a Taurus. It’s a wonderful thing. But you have to be able to make love when you’re listening to each other speak, when you’re praising God. Don’t limit yourself to making love just one way.”
The 68-year-old rocker may never live down his decades-ago comment about having seven-hour tantric sex sessions with his then-partner and now-wife of nearly 28 years, Trudie Styler. “The idea of tantric sex is a spiritual act,” he told James Lipton on Inside the Actors Studio in 2014.
“I don’t know any purer and better way of expressing a love for another individual than sharing the wonderful, I call it, ‘sacrament.’ I would stand by it. Not even hours, but the idea. Seven hours includes a movie and dinner.”